The Blue One

November 19, 2009 § 3 Comments

You know what the trouble with being the all-knowing God types is? No. Obviously you don’t, you are not all-knowing or a God. Well, I am and I know the trouble with it too. And I will tell you about it. The trouble is that you know EVERYTHING.

Why stuff happened. Why stuff will happen. What has to be done etc. etc. So much performance pressure, you know. Being on earth and guiding these mortals to do what has been written in their fates by the almighty himself. Terribly hard I tell you. Let me give you an example. Draupadi’s vastra-haran? Yes. That infamous incident. Well, I knew that the vastra-haran would happen, and I knew that I had to appear to save Draupadi. I even knew of the time, down to the exact second. But you know what happened? Late night drinking session with Balarama. I overslept. Almost didn’t make it to save her. Never will I drink with Balarama again. He must totally quit drinking.

The worst thing about this assignment for me? It has to be the treachery and all the double dealings. I mean, the Pandavas, for all their perfections, are not all that bright. Manipulating them(and it has been really easy at that) to achieve some of my own goals feels bad. But that is how it is. If not me, it will be someone else. I console myself saying that it is necessary for the triumph of good over evil.

Weird concept that, isn’t it? Good and Evil. I mean who is to say that the Pandavas are the ‘Good’ guys and the Kauravas ‘Evil’? Who decides that? If you give a good ear to what the Kauravas have to say, maybe you will find that they believe that they are on the side of good, not the Pandavas. It’s all perception. History will perceive that the Pandavas were the good guys, not the Kauravas. That reminds me, I’ve got to pay off those balladeers to sing and write down some highly imaginative stories about the Pandavas’ righteousness. History has to be made, and it is always on the side of those who control what gets written.

The Girls? (Smiles) The reports are highly exaggerated, I tell you. Handling two of them has been a problem for me, and people have been quoting my liaisons to be in the thousands. Though I do notice that most of the girls seem to get woozy headed around me. I do a quick check of the armpits when that happens(laughs). Seriously though, it’s just the two. And even then, I’d rather have that there’d be only one. Radha is the one I love, but Rukmini is the one I’m supposed to love, being married to her and all that. You see, even us God types have our problems while dealing with the matters of the heart. (Smirks)

Maybe the next project I get will be a better one. But I’ll have to finish this one with good ratings for that. And get a good appraisal from HIM. There are a lot of these one project wonders and I don’t want to be one of them. These Gods get one temple in some far off regional corner with a limited set of worshippers. No pan-religion following for them really. But I have grand plans. Pan-religion following, a chain of temples, universal name acknowledgement. From one corner of the globe to another. And for that to happen, I shouldn’t be sitting idle like this and chatting away. I’ve work to do and I’ve got to get it done. Will be seeing ya then.

And even if we do not meet, I’m sure that you’ll be hearing a lot more of me.


“The Course of True Love…

April 9, 2009 § 6 Comments

…never runs smooth, said Shakespeare”

“That’s Bullshit”

“No its not. Really. I’ll give you an example.”

“What example? Of one of your many ‘patients’?”

“No. The example is of the protagonist of one of the greatest stories ever to be rendered. Interested in hearing it?”

“As if you’ll let me be without giving it a go. So go on.”

“Heard of the Ramayana?”

“Who hasn’t? You’re going to tell me about Ram and his true love for Sita; which makes his fight a war to rescue her from the evil clutches of Raavan? Dude, everybody knows that story!! Don’t waste your breath.”

“No. This is  about Raavan’s true love. For Sita.”


“Yes. Don’t look at me like that. Its just a story baba. Anyways, you see Raavan was madly in love with Sita. It was the love at first sight kinda thing that all the movies talk about nowadays. Except that there were no movies those days. So this must have been the real deal. But you see Sita was married and the perfect Bharatiya nari types. So he had no real chance of having his love reciprocated. Not with Ram around anyways.”

“Oh man! Don’t recite this to the old people, they’ll kill you!”

“Tu sunn na! Okay, so Raavan devises a plan. Being this all powerful rakshas and all, he kidnaps Sita and bundles her back to his palace in Lanka. See, his plan is that if only Sita were to see his own devotion and love towards her, she might fall in love with him too. And he didn’t care about the consequences. But then, there is one hitch. Ram being this all powerful God and all, he is not entirely pleased with the prospect of his wife being abducted by some rakshas. All this is a blot on his honour! So he declares war on Raavan to avenge his honour.”

“And to get Sita back”

“Same difference. Now, Raavan knows that Ram will most probably kill him, if he does not return Sita. But then, he is too far gone in this love business to pay any heed to this advice from his brain. He does the usual war business, sending people to kill Ram and his entourage, knowing fully well that it must and will only end with himself and Ram on the battlefield. But even with all this, he only pines for Sita’s love. He does not even touch her, preferring to just sit in her presence, in the garden she has come to call her own, surrounded by all the guarding rakshashis. He spends his evenings thus, wondering if he’ll ever have her love. Sita doesn’t speak to him. Not much anyways. But strange are the ways of the heart. He starts loving her even more. Even if he has come to accept it that she’ll never be his.”

“You make him sound so awfully heartbroken puppy types. He’s a Rakshas for God’s sake!”

“Meh. Love knows no species. And so Raavan continues to hold out, hoping for that ever so small glimpse of love from Sita. Even when Lanka is half burnt by a marauding simian’s(who they call Hanuman) burning tail (He shouldn’t have told them to burn it, he thinks, in retrospect). Even when Ram’s army invades Lanka. And his asurs are killed in the hundreds. When his own kith and kin are killed and in some cases, slaughtered. People tell him to just give her up, return her and try to make peace with Ram. But he does not.”

“But Sita loves Ram. He is her husband. Why doesn’t Raavan understand that?!”

“Two words. Unrequited Love. And so Raavan decides to battle Ram. He knows this had to happen. And he knows that whether he wins or loses, whether he does or does not return from battle, he will never have Sita’s love. With this known, he sets out for battle, sitting in the garden in her presence for one last time, thinking that he’ll never quite know what it feels like to be loved. And as it turns out, he did lose in battle, he was felled by Ram.”

“So Raavan was like SRK from Darr??”

The Mediator smiled at her. In the background, the Hussainsagar looked particularly pleasant. “Maybe he was”, he nodded. “Tell me, does my story make a good example?”

“Yes. But you are still full of bullshit anyways.”

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