A story to be told…

November 23, 2014 § Leave a comment

So it happened that one of my close friends was getting married and all of us from the college group who’d gone to his wedding and reception were expected to provide things that are – to put things delicately – prophylactic in nature. Now, being the lazy people we are – not that I am overly lazy, but I sure as hell couldn’t buy this stuff before hand and store it at my house could I? I’d be thrown out as soon as the stash was discovered 😛 but I digress – being the lazy people we are, nobody decided to buy it before hand, not even the one married fellow in our group thought that it would be a good idea to buy and wrap it and keep it. So there we were, on the reception night, in Wadala/Dadar area with 2 hours to find all the stuff, wrap it into a good package and give it to the merezzing friend.

People familiar with the Dadar area might know that it is a commercial area, it is easier to find bhaaji in bulk, shirts selling at Rs. 50 than to find such items. So we searched and searched and searched. But we didn’t find what we wanted. Eventually we did find a hole in the wall medical where this stuff was probably present. First, there was a woman there buying something, so like every nice sanskaari boys we decided to wait till she was done with her purchase and then asked the fellow in hushed tones about the ‘stuff’. He said “aahe” and proceeded to show the small selection of stuff he had. My friend looked pensively at the stuff and said “This won’t do.” he shook his head, as if to convey his displeasure. “Aur koi variety nahin hai kya, boss?”, he asked the fellow. I wanted to tell him that merezzing fellow probably won’t be concerned about variety or whether it was made in the USA and that he shouldn’t be finicky like some girl at the saree store, but I didn’t. Store fellow said this is it and we plodded on.

Until we found this place where my friend saw all the varieties that he wanted to buy. We managed to empty the contents of the display case except for one particular box. “I haven’t used it”, my friend said, “I don’t know how it will be”. I said okay, seeing as we had probably brought stuff for months, I didn’t care much. Except that I had read somewhere that there was something else that might be useful. So I told my friend so. And he said “Lube is not necessary” and shook his head. I said “I have read that it might be. We should buy it”. He said “Nahin chahiye yaar. Fikar mat kar, everything will be fine”. And he tapped my shoulder. The chemist had heard us talking and was watching us with great interest now, with a smile on his face. He asked us. “You want something else?” And my friend goes, without batting an eye, “Do you have Honey?” I should mention that I was standing there holding a large bottle of Hersheys Chocolate Syrup which we had bought at a nearby general store. The chemist’s eye went from the stuff he had wrapped to the bottle of chocolate sauce to my face. And then to my friend, smilingly he says, “Hai na sir. You want small bottle or large.” And my friend asks me “Bada wala nahin chahiye hoga na? Chhota hi le lete hai”.  The chemist smiles wider, gets a small bottle of honey, totals the bill and gives us the stuff with the most ridiculous smile plastered on his face.

He probably thought we were taking it all for us 😐


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