November 1, 2010 § Leave a comment

On how names affect ex-es

It was once said by a very wise man, that what is in a name. A rose by another name would still smell the same. That’s what he said. What I say is, there is a lot in a name. Especially when it is of an ex. Let it be said that a wise man said so. For I am wise. Mostly.

Names are strange creatures. A name which may have once brought a smile onto a lip might someday turn out to be the reason of years of anguish and turmoil. A name which one made the heart flutter may turn out to be the cause of severe heartburn sometime later. These are snippets of stories of such anguish, boiled down to specifics, and yes, there is a moral at the end too (As Aesop’s Fables is famous, these shall too be someday be famous as Mithun’s Fables, but for age appropriate audiences wonly)

Sheela cries a lot. He ex boyfriend’s name is Raj. Which would be fine if not for the fact that the guy in the next cubicle also bears the name Raj, as do 2 other people in her office. Now, whenever somebody calls those guys out, a feeling of overwhelming rage encompasses Sheela. Then she cries. Just the other day, her friends took her to a movie, to cheer her up. It was a Shahrukh Khan film. The hero’s name was Raj. Sheela kept yelling “b*****d” throughout the movie. And crying.

Monil cries himself to sleep. He watches reruns of ‘Mehekta Rishta’ where the lead’s name is Poonam. Monil’s ex girlfriend’s name is Poonam. Monil yelled “Nahin” so loudly one night that his neighbours called the police, thinking he was being molested or something. Which the police concluded was the not case, and if it was so, it would necessitate a change in Monil’s lifestyle, as his roommates were all guys. Monil got further depressed when Poonam in Mehekta Rishta dies a gruesome death at the hands of her husband’s 3rd wife. He felt elated at first but then realisation came in that another Poonam had left him beech majhdhaar. Which further depressed him. He became a little stable as Poonam’s character came back from the dead 10 episodes later.

No pencil that comes within Sripriya’s grasp is left unbroken. Sripriya has an ex named Nataraj. The sad part being that her company stocks only Nataraj pencils and erasers. She tried to burn the erasers but backed off once she felt a little asphyxiated. She still harbors a deep derision of all pencils in her company stationary room.

One guy cannot watch one of his favourite movies anymore. The movie bears part of his ex’s name. He flinches whenever the name is announced on the TV screen and has to control himself not to fling something onto the screen.

There are many such stories that you may see around you, but will ignore. The guy at the office not calling a particular girl by her name, but by her surname while he calls all the others by their first name, is actually trying not to say a name out loud or the girl who declines a marriage proposal from Abhilash because his nickname turns out to be the same as her ex’s, which was Abhi from the name Abhishek. Its a strange world this. Where names are not just identifiers, where they are memory. Where they are not just someone’s present but someone’s past as well.

What was the moral here you ask? The moral is: Do not choose a gf/bf who has a common name(or at least has a product named after them). Someone like Muthuswamy is ideal here, simply because you are less likely to find Muthuswamy Cyber Cafe and more likely to find Vicky Cyber Cafe. And if you already have one with a common name, stick to them, it will save you a lot of heartache.


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