Phoney Relations

December 20, 2008 § 13 Comments

[This is a post of the Mediator series: a series of posts in which the Mediator tries to decipher what it is of that relationships are made up of in modern times]

As a start to this series, I will write about something that plays a very important role in a relationship. Now, from that first line will bring to the minds of the readers images of various things : love, attraction, etc. But it is none of these. It is something far more basic, something which is out in the open, visible to all. It is the mobile.

Telecommunication plays a very important role in relationships today. It has been observed, that even though orkut\chat(yahoo more than gtalk) is very instrumental and an enabling force in the beginning of a relationship, phones play an important role in sustaining a relationship. And anybody who is been in a relationship, knows that sustaining a relationship is where all the efforts are required. So phones become ultra important.

If there are still some skeptics out there, ask any girl out there what is important in a relationship and one of the three points she will list will be ‘communication’. And since the only opinion that matters in a relationship is of the girls, we conclude that communication is indeed very important in a relationship. Since phones enable communication, phones are important for a relationship.

Now, people will expect that any two humans with mobile phones can meet and fall in love/have a relationship. Ideally, yes. But we do not live in an ideal world. There are dynamics involved here. The model/make of the phones matter. The general rule is that both parties in a relationship must possess mobiles that have similar capabilities and are matched equally in the mobile status index(ask any mobile junkie to compare the two phones, the one he/she talks of fondly has a higher MSI). For example, if the boy has a Nokia 1120 and the girl has a Nokia N82, one can be rest assured that there will be a breakup in the next 2 months, maybe even 1. Unless the boy changes his handset or the girl makes the supreme sacrifice(ditch the N82 and get one of the Nokia low end series, but that rarely happens). However, if the boy has a higher model and the girl has a lower model, the relationship will seldom falter. We do not know the reason for the anomaly in the theory and we are not making any effort to find out.

Upgrades too have an effect on a relationship. Let us consider an example. Boy and girl are in relationship. Boy and girl both have Nokia 6030. Girl changes mobile to Nokia 6233 but boy holds on resolutely to his 6030, even though he can afford better. Now, 6233 is at higher MSI than 6030, the relationship meets a premature end in about a month and a half since the girl gets the phone. Don’t be stunned. This does happen. We have a glut of examples for this.

So what do we learn out of this? We learn that if you want to get into a relationship with someone, the status of mobile phones must match. So the next time you want to hit on that cute girl, you will do well to know what make of mobile phone she is carrying. It will save a lot of heartache.


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§ 13 Responses to Phoney Relations

  • milan kotian says:

    two words – Absolutely pathetic

  • Mithun says:

    yeh shabd mere bhai ke mooh se nikle hain!! khoon paani se bhi patla ho gaya! kalyug, ghor kalyug…

  • i cant disclose my name for obvious reasons :P says:

    good, u cleared this one… u see, eversince my phone broke (literally!) into pieces, i have been postponing this purchase until after my exams… might i say, having a blissful time too….

    but THIS post will be the basic reference guide when i go for purchasing one… it be the HOLY BIBLE for all cellphone purchasers!

    Hail the Mediator


  • Mithun says:

    dear one-who-does-not-want-to-be-named,

    I thank u for considering this as the holy grail of cellphone guides and i also thank you for fainting in deference to my awesomeness 😀

    The Mediator

  • Anonymous says:

    6030 and 6233.. nice eg.

    • Mithun says:

      thank you, anonymous…if one takes a closer look at the overall demographics, i do feel that a 6030 and a 6233 are good enough stand-ins to describe the average boy/girl story.

  • amonynous :P says:

    u shud change ur 6030…

  • i cant disclose my name for obvious reasons :P says:

    dont change it to 6233 !!

    its pathetic, works well when celotapped (is tht the right spelling? :P) and yea, as a matter of fact, out of production !! 😀 😛

  • […] at coming up with really obscure theories [exhibits for such behaviour in adult life : Of buses, Of phones […]

  • Chetan says:

    I have a question here, mind you big fella , it’s very practically experienced question.
    What if either one of them boy or the girl has 2 mobiles. Let say the girl has 2 mobiles (Nokia N97 & Nokia 1120) and the boy has just one mobile (Nokia 6233). What happens then???????

    • Mithun says:

      Dear Chetan,

      You take the higher valued mobile as your reference point in case of the multiple mobile ownership pattern.

      So in the case you point out, the girl has a N97 and the boy has a 6233…

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