Dead chicken, good chicken

May 20, 2008 § 5 Comments

So I made chicken. Very simple process it is.

  • Get chicken from supermarket (whole chicken(cut pieces wala chicken is for sissies and smart people, we dont need that 😛 ), frozen, and it was never fed any steroids as it says on pack)
  • Stop crying because the chicken did not have steroids, you’re not going to get muscles anyways.
  • Debate with self how to defreeze the chicken. Oven? Heater? Stove? Hot, boiling potentially dangerous water? Hot, boiling water it is then.
  • Wrestle with chicken pack, in hot hot water. Scream “Hot Hot” everytime hand comes in contact with water.
  • Debate on which knife to use. Decide on biggest available knife. Ignore chances of grievous injury and all of moms advice to stay away from sharp things.
  • Hold chicken by wings, make chicken dance on table top.
  • Decide to cut the legs of chicken first. Chicken leg is indestructible, wont be cut by simple knife cut. Decide to go samurai way. Hold knife with both hands over head(like one does a hammer), aim at point at which chicken leg is to be cut and chop with all the force possible. Keep knife down, collect chicken pieces from opposite corners of kitchen.
  • Recite a prayer for the chickens soul which might be shuddering in chicken heaven at the cruelty being dealt to its body.
  • Chop, slice and dice the chicken into pieces; all the time thinking of how it will taste.
  • 1 hour into this, try to keep calm. Ignore all the weird slime that has accumulated on your hands.
  • Marinate the chicken with chilli powder, turmeric, ginger garlic paste, salt, weird powder found in kitchen cabinet(hey, it was tasty) and something in the fridge that smells like vinegar.
  • Chop onions, tomatoes. Think of what life would be like if you had a girlfriend who would do this for you. Try not to chop off finger.
  • Stop crying.
  • Pour oil in cooking pan. Try not to put any water in pan. Run away when some water gets “accidentally” introduced into pan.
  • Fry onion, put all masalas available in kitchen into pan. Yes, even that weird yellow-green coloured one with no label on bottle. Who cares what it is, it looks like a masala.
  • Put tomatoes into pan. Add chicken. Add salt. Let it cook. Watch TV.
  • Put chicken into dish.
  • Pray to God that it does not turn out to be poisonous.
  • Eat. Watch others finish off your two hours of work in fifteen minutes. Feel good when everybody tells you how good it tastes. Tell them it was a magic ingredient. Wonder what that yellow-green powder was.

For people who are wondering ki how it looked. Here are some pics:

     Chicken Curry











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§ 5 Responses to Dead chicken, good chicken

  • Rachana says:

    the yellow green thing worked… it does look yummy!!

    Be prepared to make dish for all those in Mumbai when u back 😛 😛


  • Anonymous says:

    forgot to tell u one thing..change ur abt me nw in ur blog…it shud strt wid 23..(is it sounding like im bossing arnd :P)

  • Mithun says:

    @rach : which ppl? who wants to risk food poisoning? 😛

    @anon: I know u love bossing me arnd 😛

  • Anonymous says:

    and u listen too 😉
    tch tch… tht means u like to be bossed arnd by me, isnt it??

  • B says:

    The chicken looks delicious..
    However half the gravy seems to have evaporated in ur watching the TV duration..
    Also the weird powder might have been chicken masala..well who long as nobody got ill..its all ok

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