How to (shudder)Propose…the actual post

January 30, 2008 § 2 Comments

First off, a message from The Mediator:

Proposals are a very sacred thing. You should not propose if you cannot dispose. Do not ask me the meaning of the sentence. Ask it to yourself. The answer is there, deep within you. Within you. Deep. Yes, there.

And since I know that nobody is actually going to follow this piece of advice; this is a waste of not-so-precious bytes but whatever. Go ahead and propose then. I ain’t stopping you. Infact, an interesting statistic tells me that 70.23% of the amusement that exists in my life, is because of proposals and their disposals. Yes, it is true. Really. Much fun happens when somebody proposes and you are the party which has a) either coaxed the proposer to propose to the proposee or b) prepped the proposer or c)prepped both the proposer and the proposee. The most fun, naturally is in case c.

Which tells everybody NOT to come to me with their heartaches. But do people listen? NOOOOO… Enough of the rambling, however. Mithun will carry the rest of the post forward…You have however, been warned. Subtly. You didn’t even feel it did you? Tch.

Hmm, after that from the Mediator, I wonder if anybody will read past this, but it is my bounden duty to pots this. So here goes:

A proposal, as a rule should include the following:

  • An offer
  • A reason as to why the offer was made
  • A reason/excuse as to why the offer HAD to be made
  • A short essay on how life will be if the offer is accepted. Be as poetic as possible. This is optional thou.
  • A reduced offer (fallback), in case the original one is not accepted. Do not reveal this at the start or all will be lost.

So how does one actually propose?

After much research and consultation with the Mediator(who has seen enough proposals to last a lifetime), the following can be said:

  • Lay the Foundation (no, not the makeup thingy, you know what I mean) – talk, interact with the person.
  • Talk some more…hopefully, you’ll now begin to see that the you two aren’t meant to be as a couple. No? Then read on…
  • Write a letter explaining to that person what\where\how\when you felt that you fell for that person…read that letter aloud to yourself…realise how cheesy you sound. Burn the letter.
  • Go tell that person. The sooner the better. Remember all the points above…the rules(outlined above) too. If you don’t forget, everything should be ok (which means you won’t return with a black eye).
  • If you’re not the kind who can tell it to the face, then consider the following:
    • Make a powerpoint presentation – if the girl/guy is into MBAgiri.
    • Make a flowchart-if the girl/guy is into Technology(engineer etc)
    • what to do with those commerce grads,CAs, etc? Hmm, try doing a Balance Sheet\Pass Book inspired version. Don’t ask me, I don’t know how. Update: try using Excel 😛
    • Arts? Draw a heart. That should be enough. Or write a Poem or something.
    • Illiterate? Hmm. Draw a heart. That should be enough. Or write recite a Poem or something.

Hmm, thats all i know of that. Now go on, do your work and stop staring at the screen.

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§ 2 Responses to How to (shudder)Propose…the actual post

  • B says:

    “mithun movie like michael jackson”, “do not cry frye”, “ahista BOLT” and most amusingly, “kingfisher airhostess photos”

    Oh my God those were the most innane searches. What u dont understand is that Google already knows where these poor souls need to go->for therapy->so they are directed to ur lafter pages 🙂

    And yes more posts on the Mediator please. Although I can hazard a guess at what he meant when he said this ‘You should not propose if you cannot dispose’ translated dont propose if u cant face the 😦 consequences

  • Mithun says:

    @B: I am honored that Google thinks so 🙂

    Post related to the mediator are in the offing, or have been for long…you are good at getting meanings out of otherwise inane looking sentences…thats very impressive.. 🙂

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